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AITA for wanting to break up with my boyfriend after he wanted to get his daughter to sleep in our bedroom during our road trip and never told me that she was spending the night?
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She's saying the word “accused” a lot. When your partner continually accuses you of this or that, you know it's time to leave. It reveals their inability to see you equally or take accountability. They want to put all the blame on you. Whatever is happening is your fault, accusing you of ruining this or that, accusing you of starting the fight by literally bringing up how you feel in a calm way. Everyone has things they need to work on in life and relationships, and some more than others.
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The shocking part is that she says they haven't had an enormous amount of bad fights. It's so scary to think that you could be with someone for years and not see a side of them. Imagine if you already moved in together or got married. Some people are really good at hiding their true nature, and at the same time love is blind. So which one do you think was happening here? Do you think she was just blind to his red flags, or do you think he hid them until the trip?
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Man brings his 17-year-old daughter on vacation with girlfriend without telling her, she leaves the trip prematurely when he belittles her discomfort, reclaiming her boundaries: “I’m not even going to have a conversation with him”
Relationships are tricky. People say, "love is blind," and that statement has never been more true. Somehow everyone can see on the outside what's really going on, but within our own perspective and sphere of love the person's flaws are colored by our desire to keep it working with them. Once you're released from that bubble, it can be all too shocking to think about all the memories together, the good and the bad. When you leave a relationship with a red flag guy, you may be left feeling like you were under water for that entire time, and you're just coming up for breath now. Words you exchanged hit differently, and you can suddenly see the truth that your friends have been telling you about.
In the story below, the woman might have been underwater in the relationship. She has been with her boyfriend for two years, and claims she's never seen him behave the way he behaved on their road trip. They planned it to celebrate her career milestone, and things were fishy from the beginning. Even the day they were supposed to leave, he was hours late, he didn't own up to their financial agreement, he prioritized other stops along the way. And the worst part is that he tried to invite his teenage daughter to sleep overnight with them.